Mary Kay

06:04 am: What I'm doing on my May vacation
Well, not really a vacation. We're in Denver for Worldcon concom meetings. Got in last night. General meeting this morning. Lunch meeting with Kent about Hugo stuff. Jordin and I went to Tattered Cover and bought too many books. Back to the hotel for the budget meeting. Oh dog, kill me now. Then Jordin and I went to dinner with debgeisler. She went back to the hotel and we went to see Iron Man. It was much better than I expected and had some very nice explosions. Back to the hotel for smoozing in the suite and now, to bed. (Mood continues to improve.)

04:10 pm: Effin' Gorram Hormones
Right. Look, the issues I talk about in the previous post are real issues in my life, and things I struggle with, and have for much of my life. However, I woke up this morning with a revelation whole and complete in my head.

'Long about February, my hot flashes faded into insignificance. They didn't go away completely but fell below the threshold where I didn't much notice them. They've resurged into prominence again lately, and that surge correlates with my utter misery. Hot flashes and mood swings. This is -- annoying. It's been 20 months since I had a period. When do these things stop? Yeah, ok, they're getting less frequent and milder but ready to stop now.

I'll be working to put things back into some perspective, and there's a fair number of them and they're way out of perspective. Your patience is requested until normal operations recommence.

Effin' gorram hormones.

05:42 am: Well, well, well
It's been 4 weeks since my last post -- my longest gap since I began writing this LJ. Whenever I have, in the past, talked about not doing it anymore, everyone assures me they enjoy reading my posts and would miss them if I quit. And in 4 weeks, exactly one person went so far as to email and wonder what was happening. I didn't quit writing as a test to anyone -- I did it for my own reasons but I couldn't help noticing.

Here's something I wrote recently:

I appear to have become invisible. What’s more, not merely physically invisible, but psychologically or emotionally invisible as well. It started a long time ago, but about 6 weeks ago I noticed it seemed to have got much worse. I was at a conference that a bunch of people I know were attending. I considered some of them friends and most of the others people I’d like to get to know better. I expected to spend a lot of time hanging out with them.

And that – didn’t happen. Oh, they all hung out together and had lots of fun. I read all about it later, online. The only 2 times I was briefly in on it though was when I tracked them down and invited myself along. When I do that people will usually, though not always, say sure. And they appear to enjoy my company when they do, but they never seem to, you know, actually invite me. When everyone is standing around talking to each other about plans, and none of them are talking to you, it’s pretty damn dispiriting. I’ve had people do that – discuss plans in front of me – and then walk off to carry them out and leave me standing there. I get tired of always tugging on peoples' sleeves asking, "Can I come too?"

It’s been a problem off and on all my life, but that conference really rubbed my face in it. Ever since then, I've been terribly aware of people overlooking, excluding, looking past me. At the doctor's office, in restaurants, hell, walking down the sidewalk. Then there’s the matter of that committee I was supposed to be on. They moved discussion to another place than the email list we’d been using and, somehow, mysteriously, I’m not getting the informational emails that site is supposed to generate.

Yeah, even my email is disappearing and no one can give me a reason why. I suppose it doesn’t matter much – I can’t remember the last time I got a personal email, as opposed to one of my committee or mailing list or LJ comment emails.

It’s being really difficult to deal with. I’m alternately pitching tempers and crying. Tired of being invisible. Really

01:50 am: Thursday is Writing Day
According to Word, the Brother Moonlamp story is 1036 words long now, but that does include some notes appended to the end as reminders to me. This is a story from one of elisem's necklaces, Brother Moonlamp Courts the Alchemist. I only added about 200 words today, but I figured out some more about the voices each of them uses and the voice of the story in talking about them. Solved that pesky tense problem! I was switching back and forth, I thought, at random, between present and past tenses in the narrative. But no, I was doing that for a reason and I know what it is now and have cleaned up what I've written so far. This story is tying in to one I've got only about half written because I don't know the end. They take place in the same world, the same city, and have the same pseudo-religious/philosophical group as a centerpiece. I can see how one could make an entire Fantasy Trilogy out of this, but I'm going to resist that temptation. Which is pretty easy, really, when I'm intimidated into immobility by the thought of writing a novel, never mind three.

In other writing related news, I prospected out 3 possible venues to send one of my stories too. And another venue I'd like to send a story to if I have one that fits. I have one more I think might be ready to go and I need to find possible places for it. The 3 possibles above won't do I think. Story B is completely different to Story A and even has a happy ending! Which Story A emphatically does not. Hmm. Come to think, I remember seeing at least one possibility I wrote off for A because they didn't want downbeat stuff.

Now all I have to do is actually *submit* the dammed things.

Tags: brother moonlamp, writing

12:28 am: Is AKCILJ?
Does anyone on my friends list know anything about Seton Hill University and their masters program in writing popular fiction? I'd particularly like to talk to someone who has gone through the program. I've been thinking this may be a better fit for me than Clarion or Clarion West but the only person I've heard talk about is Toby Buckell who's an instructor/mentor in the program.

I just work better in structured situations.

Tags: education, writing

01:48 am: Playing catch up
I've been very busy, I have. I'm this year's Hugo administrator so tallying up all the votes and putting out the ballot and stuff has been *way* more time consuming than I previously dreamed. However, I think we've now caught all, or most, of the spelling, grammar, punctuation, et bloody cetera errors. My ghod, the detail is staggering. Even after 2 of the best editors in fandom proofread it, there were still all these bloody little missing periods and extraneous commas and whatnot.
.
Also, Potlatch was in there. I was running programming, getting the last of the Hugo nominating ballots (roughly half of all ballots came in the last 2 days), and I had a nasty cold.

Also, Clarion West workshop stuff which got more exciting than it needed to be. Also CW 25th anniversary stuff and running an info table at Norwescon. (And now I need to arrange hosts for this summer's parties and re-write the party letter by the beginning of May.)

Let's see what else am I up to? Since the light came back and daylight savings time started I've had oodles of energy and have been trying to channel it usefully. I've made 2 necklaces and have another laid out on the workbench. I'm learning to make bezels. I'm being slowly but surely sucked in the direction of mosaic work. (I'm planning to do a mosaic clock to match the new tile in the bathroom. -- Oh, right. They start on the bathroom on Monday.) I've been working on a story sparked by one of elisem's necklaces, Brother Moonlamp Courts the Alchemist. I worked some on it this afternoon in fact. I have the beginning and the end so I know what happens in the middle -- I just have to figure out how to do that...

Also on the spring front, the crocus have come and gone. The grape hyacinths are in bloom, and the tulips are coming up. I'm getting a lavender bed with added rosemary and getting rid of the ivy.

I saw the doctor about my insomnia and arthritis and stuff. And was informed that I do not have arthritis in my hips -- I have way too good range of motion for it to be arthritis. It's trochanteric bursitis. Which is much more treatable and much less crippling than arthritis so that's good! She gave me exercises which I haven't started yet, because I got that really bad cold right after she gave them to me and then I lost the papers. But now I have energy and the papers and no cold, so maybe I'll start tonight. What I have in the fingers and wrists is osteo-arthritis for which there's little help. Take NSAIDs and use wrist braces -- because the wrists are the worst. They do help when I remember to wear them.

ETA: Oh, and she gave me stuff to help me sleep. It's a very old anti-depressant (whose name I forget and the bottle is upstairs) in a tiny very subclinical dose. It does seem to help, but since I have to take it every night, we'll revisit in 6 months or so.

All my blood tests came back mostly normal although one of them indicates something mildly inflammatory is going on in my body -- which is probably the bursitis. The bone density scan says my bones are great! So I keep taking the calcium supplements and I win the argument on the thyroid meds for another year. That leaves the colonoscopy (which we're trying again next week) and the mammogram to be scheduled. Which I'll do tomorrow. Man, getting old is annoying. At least today's good news is that all that caffeine should be helping to protect me against Alzheimer's.

I spent today running errands and shopping. Left the house at 9:30 and didn't get back untnil nearly 6pm. Had breakfast, went to Target (lots of paper goods and a couple of cheap pretty t-shirts), Shoe Pavilion (new Clarkes black clogs and Naturalizer white sandals (both of which I needed) for about the price I'd expect to pay for the clogs), Office Max (business card stock for Jordin and Daytimer to better organize me), writing at Remedy Teas, some grocery shopping and home. Whew. I resisted the siren call of the bead store and the tile store.

If I were a real blogger I'd go hunt down the links on the bursitis and the Alzheimer's thing, but the new Asimov's came today. Also, I'm reading a *wonderful* collection of short stories by Theodora Goss. I wish I had written each and everyone myself, they're just exactly what I'd like to do! So I'll see ya later.

05:43 pm: Birthdays!
Happy birthday to smofbabe and writingortyping You've both been good and helpful friends.

Thanks!

10:07 pm: A Poll!
Ok, it's not like it's real content, but it's all I can do right now.

Poll #1162672 Sci Fi Icons
Open to: All, results viewable to: All

What is most iconic of early sci-fi never-happened-tech?

10:03 am: Desperately, desperately want!
I so very much want these I'm tempted to undertake knitting. But Jordin has suggested that surely I could pay vast sums of money to one of my knitting friends to get them to knit for me. Oh, so desperately want.

04:47 am: Hugo Ballot
Why yes, I did spend weeks telling everyone it would be released at noon on Friday March 21. However, an alleged technical glitch caused it to be released on a web site late last night and so we went ahead and posted it to the Denvention.org web site. Where you can find it now.

Tags: hugos

08:33 pm: More on the bathroom
The floor tile is here. Click on the picture for a some what larger view. It's all subtle greens and browns. I nearly went with this for the wall tile, which would have required different floor tile. And I really liked these better. We're using the Oak colorway which is rather darker in person than that picture shows on my screen. I can't find what I'm using for a decorative border because I don't seem to have the manufacturer's name. They're 1x1 tiles which have a pale green and a purplish grey in them. That latter color looks decidedly purple when it's near something purple. We're getting a somewhat smaller clawfoot tub than the one we've got so as to be able to fit the shower in and the outside of the tub will be painted in the Behr color Winter Amethyst -- or something very similar to it.

Tags: bathroom remodel

01:25 pm: Woo! also Hoo!
The contractor just brought our construction permit by. They're starting April 7! I've picked out the tile, I just have to figure out which sizes in what configuration we're using so they can order it. (And write a check because of course, it was more than the allowance in the contract.) I've decided on the color for the tub and on the floor tile. I have to pick out the shower hardware and get the final tile prices.

Eeee! I'm gonna get a real shower! And a purple tub (on the outside). And lovely tile that isn't white and brown and blue grey. All perfectly respectable colors, but I'm not good with neutrals. Eeee!

Tags: bathroom remodel

04:24 pm: AKICILJ
So it was time for that loveliest of medical tests, the colonoscopy. It was scheduled and I got all the instructions and bought the necessary and made arrangements. It was supposed to be 1:15pm tomorrow. Unfortunately a couple of hours ago I had to call and cancel. We've rescheduled it for very early in the day, but I"m not sure how I'm going to cope. Today was supposed to the all clear liquids day. Unfortunately almost all those things are very high carb -sugar - or no calories at all. By 2pm I was shaky, nauseated and could feel myself growing stupider by the moment. Hypoglycemic episode symptoms. More sugar only makes it worse. No way I could go another 24 hours.

Now I intend to talk to my doctor about it but how you guys? Any of you have blood sugar problems when you have to fast? What do you do to avoid and/or cope with them? I usually feel pretty icky when I have to fast for a test but I've never been this bad. My blood tests always come back negative for diabetes or hypoglycemia, but I've had hypoglycemic episodes since my teens.

I've now consumed mass quantities of protein, complex carbs, and fat so I feel much better now.

04:18 pm: For Seattlites
I made a couple of discoveries today. There's a restaurant called Cafe Stellina on 12th just south of Pine which had yummy food and looked like they could use some more business. I had smoked salmon on corncakes with sour cream and it was totally scrumptious. The lemon mousse with strawberries could have used a little more lemon flavor but was luscious and creamy. They share a building with Osteria Spiga, which I hope to get to some day, but they're only open for dinner.

Even more importantly, downstairs from the 2 restaurants is a Really Cool toy store. I bought toys for me and Jordin both and plan to drag him back when we've got time to spend. Mary Kay Bob says check it out! Called Izilla Toys I think. Oh, and they have a web site http://www.izillatoys.com/

Tags: restaurants, seattle, toys

07:18 pm: I've tried, but I just can't resist
I KNOW WHO'S GOING TO BE ON THE HUGO BALLOT AND YOU DON'T! BWAHAAAHAAA!

Sorry. It won't last long --we expect the ballot to be out by Easter. I must say it feels really swell to give so much pleasure to so many -- and all without the exchange of bodily fluids. Almost makes all that work worth while.

And of course, this explains why things have been quiet around these parts.

Tags: fandom, hugos

05:36 pm: Help, Cecil, help!
Do I have any Battlstar Galactica fanatics on my flist? I'd like to ask you a couple questions if I could. Email me offlist at marykay at kare dot ws

Thanks!

Tags: fandom, tv

11:24 am: Hugo nominations
The end of the nominating period is nigh! Nominating ends at midnight PST on Saturday March 1. You've got just over a week to get those nominating ballots in!

Reminders:
If you're mailing your ballot, don't forget to SIGN IT!
If everyone waits until an hour before the deadline to vote online, you'll crash the servers and be out of luck! So do it soon!


And you can count on posting be light around here until the final ballot is out in March.

Tags: fandom, hugos

11:26 am: Interesting
Got ths from Riba Ramble. Interesting in that the purple family is one of my favorites -- though I like the bluer purples better than the warm ones. Also, confident was *not* one of the words I checked as describing me.

you are mediumorchid #BA55D3

Your dominant hues are red and blue. You're confident and like showing people new ideas. You play well with others and can be very influential if you want to be. Your saturation level is medium - You're not the most decisive go-getter, but you can get a job done when it's required of you. You probably don't think the world can change for you and don't want to spend too much effort trying to force it. Your outlook on life is brighter than most people's. You like the idea of influencing things for the better and find hope in situations where others might give up. You're not exactly a bouncy sunshine but things in your world generally look up.

the spacefem.com html color quiz

Tags: color, quiz

07:59 pm: For worldcon members
You have just three more weeks to get those Hugo nominating ballots in folks! And if you're mailing a paper ballot, for the love of Mike, DON'T FORGET TO SIGN IT. I've already had to disqualify 2 because they were filled out but not signed. The space is right there on the front. If you are doing an online ballot check your membership and PIN numbers carefully. I might email you and tell you you got it wrong and to try again, but, especially as it gets closer to the deadline, I may not have time.

Tags: fandom, hugos

01:18 pm: Disappointing News I Fear
Well, by the time the meeting with the contractor was over and Jordin and I talked about it, I got out of the house a little before 11am. The bus from downtown to Key Arena, where Obama was appearing was full to the gills with lots of people talking enthusiastically about Obama. Lots of them, however, knew less about their candidate than I did. The idea of loads of enthusiasm for someone, backed with little to no knowledge about them and their platform, scares me somewhat. And I heard a lot of it.

The bus dropped us off right in front of Key Arena at 11:40. Just in time to hear the announcements that the arena was full and they couldn't let any more people in and would everyone PLEASE move back from the doors at it was creating a serious hazard. That Arena holds 18,000 people and there were thousands more standing around outside and hundreds in Center House. Well, at my age with my arthritis there's no way I'm able to stand in the cold for that long. I walked over to Center House and got something to eat. They had a big tv set up for broadcast, but it was so noisy I couldn't hear anything, so I walked over to the McDonalds, called a cab and came home. It's noticeably colder out there than when I left this morning. And I lost one of my gloves dammit.

Now, I think I'll make some tea and see if I can find the speech on tv. Sorry gang.

ETA: Yes, the KING5 news channel (which is 106 on my digital cable) say they're broadcasting it live, but it hasn't started yet at 1:38pm

Oooops. No, they're streaming it online.

Tags: obama, politics