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Mary Kay

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04:40 pm: An Anniversary
I couldn't sleep last night so I was looking for things to keep me occupied. I looked up in my LJ what I was doing 10 years ago. (It amazes me I've kept it up so long, however spottily at times). Ten years ago today, we spent our first night in this house. It was a Saturday then too. We had moved our stuff in from the apartment we had been using here in Seattle and were awaiting our stuff from CA. It came on the following Wednesday. I had never seen so many boxes in my life.

It's still much too cold outside, but at least it's pretty sunny. I had hoped to get an early start this morning and try to do some fun things that would keep me out in the sun, but the bad night put the kibosh on that. I'm actually feeling pretty good though. It's only being tired & sleepy keeping me in, not the desire to hide from the world & everything in it.

Jordin & I had fun last night playing with the cats and having better conversation than we've had for a while. Well, I'd already noticed it improving; last night was just particularly nice. We haven't been having marital problems; I've just been mostly crazy since last July. And I'm not being flip; I'm really serious about that. Also, I seem to be using up more than my fair share of semicolons today!

I can feel my brain starting to react better & as what passes for normally with me. I can think and plan and remember. Well, of course, there's some coughing and spluttering and occasional outright failure, but definitely improving over all. Relieved isn't the right word for what I feel about it though. I really genuinely hadn't realized how bad it had gotten until I began to get better. Which is scary.

One of the things I thought about while trying to sleep was about how much of aging (after 45 or so) is about loss. The years gave been good, especially the last 25 or so, but I have had a lot of loss in the last 15 and it's accelerating. So you are hereby invited to remind of the good things about aging. (Note: menopause doesn't count for me. I looked forward to it for years, but that's when my body began really breaking down. Sigh.)

Current Mood: sleepysleepy

Comments

[User Picture]
From:txanne
Date:March 23rd, 2013 11:47 pm (UTC)
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I find that it's easier for me to walk away from things that aren't doing me any good. Mostly it's Internet arguments, but it's also been a friendship or two. I'm better at knowing when to cut my losses than I used to be. No more holding on with teeth and toenails!
[User Picture]
From:marykaykare
Date:March 24th, 2013 10:20 pm (UTC)
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Yes. Also, it's amazing how much mature wisdom resembles being too tired. Heh. :-)
MKK
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From:txanne
Date:March 24th, 2013 10:37 pm (UTC)
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Also true.
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From:msminlr
Date:March 24th, 2013 12:24 am (UTC)
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One good thing about aging: old ladies can get away with saying what they *REALLY* think.

Also [to paraphrase Moonwulf]:
A kilt-wearing twentysomething looks as good as ever
And his daddy and his grandpa both look better every day.
[User Picture]
From:marykaykare
Date:March 24th, 2013 10:24 pm (UTC)
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Wolf is correct!

If you'd been on the SMOFs list this week you wouldn't think old ladies can say what they really think. I did and plunged all smofdom into war. I kind of enjoyed it though and I think a number of us learned things.

Of course thae last time I did that, calling a certain person a lying trouble-making bitch, to her face, the lurkers all supported me in email!

MKK
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From:bibliofile
Date:March 26th, 2013 10:03 am (UTC)
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I don't know about getting away with it, but I certainly care a lot less about what other people think of me, so I don't let that stop me from saying things I think that need to be said. It's the "life's too short..." kind of lesson.

Yikes! on the doing badly but not realizing quite how much thing. The worst thing about that state is being almost blissfully unaware of the problematic nature of that state. Ugh.
[User Picture]
From:redbird
Date:March 24th, 2013 01:32 am (UTC)
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I seem to have some spare semicolons lately, so you can use some of mine. (It feels as though I've been using more dashes instead.)

There are things I seem to have less need to defend than I used to: not just in the Internet argument sense txanne mentioned, but that there are bits of femininity that I'm feeling less pressure to perform than I used to. I don't know if this is because women my age aren't expected to be decorative (and may be assumed incapable of it: this is an advantage of aging that is specific to a subset of women, and may be a disadvantage for others), that I've gotten better at ignoring the pressure, or some combination.
[User Picture]
From:marykaykare
Date:March 24th, 2013 10:30 pm (UTC)
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I have, at times, been very femme, but performing a given social role helped wreck my first marriage. So it's been a while since I performed any I didn't want to. That I was aware of anyway.

Sometimes I'm femme, sometimes I'm a little butchy. Probably the result of being female het, but spending a lot of time during my formative years with men. Mostly my father & his fater. We lived on a farm and as my mom had 2 kids 13 months apart ...

How I do ramble on! Looking forward to being able to see more of you. When are you arriving.
[User Picture]
From:carbonel
Date:March 24th, 2013 03:13 am (UTC)
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The best thing about aging is that, in general, it's an improvement over the alternative.

Also, there are some things that I'm more willing to let go without feeling like a lazy bum. I guess that comes under the "choose your battles" category.
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From:marykaykare
Date:March 24th, 2013 10:32 pm (UTC)
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People keep saying that but sometimes, on a bad pain day for example, I'm not so sure!

You & I need to talk about some stuff. Would you rather do it in email or over the phone? So primitive, I know, but easier sometimes.
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From:smofbabe
Date:March 24th, 2013 09:46 am (UTC)
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Besides what others have mentioned, another good thing about aging: I no longer feel I have to keep up with the latest trends, music, etc. I'm happy with the music I know and have way more already than I have time to listen to. Now that I'm older, I am not in the least embarrassed to say to someone "Sorry, never heard of them" in relation to a musician, artist, TV show, etc.

Glad you can feel yourself improving - hope the trend continues upward!
[User Picture]
From:marykaykare
Date:March 24th, 2013 10:34 pm (UTC)
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Ah, see, I live in fear of turning into my mother so I have tried really hard to keep up with trends & pop culture stuff. Though I did give up on music in the mid-80s. I shall have to give this some thought. Thanks!,
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