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Mary Kay

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March 22nd, 2013

04:31 pm: ASeries Of Random Observations
When I woke up this morning it was 35F and fucking snowing. I have always hated snow and cold with a passion. The arthritis & JHS have only broadened and deepened that hate. Yes it didn't stick and had quit by noon. Though I'm pretty sure it never got out of the 30s. I nearly cancelled the day.

When I did go out I noticed my grape hyacinths were just starting to break their buds & bloom, which is some consolation. But not enough. Especially if the cold killed them.

Glad I didn't cancel though, as lunch with Angela was fun. We talked for 2 hours.

My therapy session right after was really upsetting & draining though. Yes, at 60 I've decided to add some therapy to the drugs. If you'd undergone the counseling & therapy that I got in the 70s and early 80s you'd understand my reluctance. Annnnnyway. After it I wanted to come home, put on my flannel nightgown, and get in bed with a comfortable book. And I could so I did. Sometimes my luck astounds me. Though I do feel I've paid for it and then some. If you don't agree, go spend 40 years with untreated major depression and then get back to me.

March 20th, 2013

05:16 pm: Dear Fantasy Writers
Most of the bone I have seen in my life was not white unless bleached. It's been yellowish or brownish or even pinkish, but not actually white. It jerks me out of the story every time. Also, white as bone or bone white has become a complete cliche. Can't you find some new, slightly creepy, simile to set your tone?

Thank You.

Current Mood: crankycranky

March 19th, 2013

02:16 pm: Five things to make a post
Early tomorrow morning (Seattle time) is the vernal equinox. So I can put away my lights for 6 months.

The dishwasher is misbehaving and they have to order parts. Which means it will be next week before it's working again. I really hate doing dishes by hand. Yes, I know. Privileged first world problems. Well, I live in the first world.

Anxiety level much reduced but still present. But at least I've quit clenching my teeth and have nearly all the sores healed up. There are still a couple I can't seem to leave alone, but it's quite a bit of progress!

Am reading Bear's new book, Shattered Pillars. I just finished re-reading the 1st book, Range of Ghosts, yesterday, and immediately started this one. I absolutely adored RoG, but am having to take this 2nd one a bit more slowly. I think I'll love it too, but it has a lot of very intense stuff. I read her books slowly as a rule. I almost never want to rewrite her prose on account of awkwardness (unlike *some* writers I could mention) but I sometimes have to re-read sentences for clarity. Sometimes multiple times. Which is probably a lack in me rather than in the author. At least today I don't have the mental fog I was wandering about in yesterday.

Oh dear. It's the vernal equinox and I still have Christmas stuff piled in the dining room waiting for sorting. Well, I had a tough winter.

Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative

March 2nd, 2013

05:38 pm: Frustration
Honest to Roscoe, I'd give 10 (ten) points off my IQ to have normal brain chemistry.

Maybe more.

February 12th, 2013

02:09 pm: Ahem
Dear Authors (and others)

You do not hone in on something. You HOME in on it. Hone is what you do to knives to make them sharper. It does not require the use of "in". Thank you.

This issue brought to you by Mary Kay's Pet Peeves.

Current Mood: annoyedannoyed

January 19th, 2013

02:32 pm: Please read
I've posted an article to my LJ that I very much need my friends. Maybe one of these days I'll remember to use DW first and let it cross-post.


01:37 pm: In which I am, once again, the world's biggest idiot.
Since a year ago Sept. I've been dealing with anxiety. It has waxed & waned, but was always present. Add the SAD of the last few months into really seriously waxing anxiety and life has been, well, hellish. Sounds melodramatic, but there you go.

For a variety of reasons I have resisted anti-anxiety drugs. Until this week. I took the first one Wednesday evening and woke up Friday morning cheerful and with no compulsion to pick at the sores I've been picking at for weeks. I had a mildly difficult chore to do that afternoon. I showered, dressed, went out to lunch and did my chore. And realized that I felt normal. I wasn't shaking, picking at myself, and desperate to go home. I walked around University Village looking at the changes. I petted a dog and held a conversation with her owner, a perfect stranger. I was very nearly high as a kite from relief and gratitude.

It isn't all over for sure & certain. It feels like a very thin skin, if you know what I mean. The buspirone may be what's making me very sleepy. Thursday & Friday nights both I went to sleep around 9:30pm & slept until morning. Or maybe it was exhaustion. I don't know, we'll have to see. I haven't noticed any other things that could be side effects. I also have a history of psychoactives working excellently and then fading out. However, if that happens, I'm on a very small dose which could be easily increased. If there aren't side effects.

In the meantime, whew, what a relief. Don't be an idiot like me. If your doctor wants you to try something, go ahead, you can always stop it if you want. But at least try.

Current Mood: relievedrelieved

January 15th, 2013

05:18 pm: Light returns!
It's only a little more than 3 weeks since the solstice but already things are looking up. At 5:15pm (that's 17:15 for you right pondians) there is light in the sky. It probably helps a lot that it was a clear afternoon so there's no cloud cover. Nevertheless, progress!

Current Mood: hopefulhopeful

January 14th, 2013

03:52 pm: Kids today, I tell ya
I just tried to read A LONG QUICHE GOODBYE by Avery Aames. In the first chapter she dropped 3 brand names and had the viewpoint character use the adjectives rustic, tawny, and quaint in completely non-ironical fashion. The second chapter began with her drinking cinnamon-laced coffee on the wrap around verandah of her vintage house.

Also her math skills suck. She says her grandparents left France after WWII for the US. In 2010, grandmere is 72. Uh, no. Not unless she married at age 6.

Luckily, I didn't buy it, I only got a sample from iBooks. No more for me thanks!

January 11th, 2013

11:59 am: An aphorism, original
I have cats so I usually feel either guilty or inadequate. Sometimes, both.

Current Mood: guiltyguilty
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